Enough

My favorite part of going to church is the time of worship. I just love music and loud music at that! I am super thrilled about the music at Heartland as it is "just my style." Sunday we sang the song "Enough" which has been done by Chris Tomlin, Jeremy Camp, and BarlowGirl (to name a few). They are all great versions, but I am especially fond of the BarlowGirl version!

Not to jump around but, I had a cathartic moment at church last Sunday. The sermon series is on fear and has been great, especially the last one. The message on Sunday was about not fearing things because of your past and moving beyond it. It got me thinking about all the things that have happened in my life and I realized that none of those things really cause "fear" in me. In doing some further thinking, it is not fear that grips me, but insecurities. I am filled with insecurities some rational and some very irrational. I am insecure about the way I look, how others perceive me, how I sound, do I talk enough, what my house looks like, and the list goes on. I can't say that there is one thing that I am completely secure in. Even when I was teaching I wasn't completely secure and always thought other people did it better.

I am the type of person that thinks and thinks and takes everything in and I take my time to process things. So the whole time the pastor is speaking, I am processing (and hearing what he is saying). Now, here is the cathartic moment - I am one of those people who has a great life, but is always waiting for the other shoe to drop. WOW! I shouldn't be so surprised, I know why I am like this (that's the rational side). This waiting for something bad to happen is the very thing that is keeping me from being secure. It is like I think something bad should be happening, because why can my life be good? Do I really deserve it? Of course I do!

Keep in mind that we sang the song "Enough" right before the message, so it is playing in my head. I keep hearing -

all of You is more than enough for

all of me for every thirst and

every need You satisfy me

with your love

and all I have in You

is more than enough

I am processing the whole waiting for the other shoe to drop thing and realize this song is the answer, God is the answer. (I know that may sound so silly and easy, but it isn't easy to remember every day, especially if you're me.) Read those words again...all of You is more than enough for everything that I may ever need. God's love is more than enough! Why am I letting those insecurities hold me down and hold me back? I am generally a happy person, but think about life without those holds? How amazing!! I think that this is just the life God has designed for me. I have to constantly remind myself that God is enough and it has only been a couple days since church and I've already slipped back - but I guess the most important part is that I am working toward His goal!

This is my theme verse for now - "...I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead." Philippians 3:13b, NLT

Here are 2 links - one to a You Tube video of the BarlowGirl version of Enough and the second to Heartland Church if you have a few minutes to listen to that message.